I always thought that everything would fall into place. That there would be a magic button, a magic moment where suddenly I knew where I was going, and what I was doing. I though that somewhere, there would be an answer, a clear path laid out for me.
But there isn’t.
Some people know exactly where they’re going, from the moment they leave school – maybe even before that. They have it all mapped out.
And while I’ve always known where I want to go – I want to write, I want to be free, I want to be alive – I’ve never known how to achieve this.
Other people seem to make it appear easy, although I know it’s not.
I don’t want my life all mapped out, but at the same time…. I’d like some direction, some hint, something to help me along the way, to help me know where to go next, because I am being pulled in so many directions and I don’t know which way to take.
Am I meant to feel this lost and confused?
It’s beginning to feel overwhelming – all of this and I don’t know what to do.
I don’t know where I’m going. And maybe that’s the beauty of it.
But all the same, I wouldn’t mind a little bit of guidance – a nudge towards the right direction, that would be nice. If you wouldn’t mind…
With much love, me.