It’s probably not a secret or surprise to most people that I’ve been really missing the structure and interaction of university and studying.
But recently, I realised something else.
For the first time in my life, I have creative freedom.
It occurred to me the other day, when writing a poem that didn’t have much thought or form, just something that I was inspired to write and then post on this blog, that although of course I have the background, the knowledge that comes with studying, now, I have the confidence to feel free to write whatever I want. It can be constraining, having that in your mind all the time, the thought that something will be pulled apart like that in class – that you have to write to a certain thing.
And at the time, it was great. I loved the structure, getting together with other writers, talking writing. But I still do that – I’ve made my own little writing connections and groups, and I have those connections.
Recently, I’ve been playing around with short stories, writing short pieces and poems, that I’ve been posting on the blog here, and it’s great to just be able to do that – write something with all that feeling and post it out, without having to worry about making it fit a certain description or agenda.
It’s great to be able to experiment and free write, without any worries about consequences or anything. And because of that I’ve been writing lots of things that maybe I wouldn’t have done before – lots of short stories (and I realised that I’ve missed writing short stories). It’s great and I never realised, until now, just how little of that I’ve been doing.
So while I miss university and studying and keep looking up writing courses and workshops, it’s actually great to have this new freedom with no external expectations, from tutors or anything. I can do with my writing what I like, and I feel a whole lot more confident about my writing. And there’s no better feeling.