I have grieved before
threaded it through my life
a blunt needle
that is pulled through
slowly slowly
so I know
that this is
a grief beyond any
most will have known;
for a way of life
uncertainty
fear
a world that has changed
and will emerge scarred,
for there will be a before
and an after.
I know too that grief
grows and swells like a balloon
before deflating unexpectedly
and shrinking lodged
against my ribcage
forever beating there
the tick-tock
of a clock
that will not be silenced.
Category: General
From Jane to Mrs de Winter
It’s no secret that Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier was inspired by Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte’s classic novel of love and madness. Rebecca is a book that I probably reread at least once a year – I can recite the opening paragraphs by heart. But Jane Eyre I don’t know so well.
You
You’ll have nights when you won’t be able to stop crying, when it will feel like the whole world is against you, that the world is over. There’ll be nights when the tears won’t stop coming. When the whole world feels dark and cruel. When it feels hopeless, and like there’s no point.
The Year of the Adventure
“Sorry! I don’t want any adventures, thank you. Not Today. Good morning! But please come to tea – any time you like! Why not tomorrow? Good bye!”
J.R.R. Tolkien
Mince Pies
It’s that time of year again – time to crack out the Christmas songs and decorations, sing carols, eat lots of delicious food, and generally enjoy the festive period, company of friends and family. But it’s also a terribly nostalgic and strange time.
On Funerals, Death, and Dying
Last week, I attended the fourth family funeral in the last six years. I really hope it’s the last, for a good while yet, but I’ve come to accept that you never really know. Life is short and you never know what’s next.
Trying to Deal With Anxiety
As the long, winter nights approach again, I’m starting to worry that the anxiety that overtook me last winter will strike again. I’ve been thinking about ways to try and keep it at bay, and although it’s hard to sometimes to follow my own advice, I thought I’d share some of the things that have helped me.
To Do Lists
I love to do lists.
Creative Freedom
It’s probably not a secret or surprise to most people that I’ve been really missing the structure and interaction of university and studying.
Thankfulness
Sometimes you just have to remind yourself that there are so many things in this life to be grateful for.
